By the time this post is up, I would have already turned 26 by the strike of midnight on May 15. And my, what a life I've lived in the past twenty-six years. It hasn't been a bed of roses, but God has been faithful. I like to believe that everything we go through has a purpose. No part of our experiences (good or bad) is wasted. I want to start by thanking God for His mercies throughout the past twenty-six years of my life. I truly have not come this far just with my strength alone. Given everything I've been through, I probably wouldn't be here if left to me. But, like I said, God is indeed merciful.
Looking back at my life, I feel I could write a whole book about it. I can't guarantee it would be a New York Times Bestselling Non-Fiction piece. However, It might be worth the read (If you can handle it). I've learned so much from my experiences and all the people I've met. I've experienced joy, loss, love, heartbreak, big and small wins, failure, hard times, and many more than I could count. What's important is that I've grown from my experiences and gained enough wisdom to last me a lifetime. But, the trick to doing life well is never to stop learning, no matter what. Always present yourself as a student in every experience, by telling yourself, "Perhaps I am going through this because there is something I am supposed to learn from this experience." It's hard, but life is all about perspective. When you change how you look at things, the things you look at change.
With that said, here are 26 lessons I've learned in the last 26 years. I hope you're inspired.
Don't try to do life without God. Just don't. You'll thank me later. Let your relationship with God come first in everything you do. A life without God involved is like a day without the sun. You'll always feel like there's something missing.
Your life is your story. You'll have many regrets, and you'll make many mistakes. Never fail to give yourself credit for how far you've come. And try not to make mistakes you can't come back from.
What goes around truly comes around. Be good to others, even those who aren't the nicest to you. Kindness is free. People will often remember how you made them feel regardless of who you are.
Tell your friends you love them. Even if they're not the affectionate type. Be the kind of person who is intentional about loving others. Love with all your heart. Don't let your love go to waste.
Family is everything if your family is good to you. Boundaries are important. Learn how to love people from a distance when it feels that your intentions, and actions aren't being reciprocated. Forgiveness is necessary but do it most importantly for yourself. Do not sacrifice your mental health and happiness for people who wouldn't do the same. Choose yourself first, and always.
Your dreams and passions are all you have to stay inspired in this life. Pursue your calling, no matter the obstacles you may encounter. Don't ever give up on yourself. Your path could be an inspiration to others.
Failure is one step towards success. You'll never know how far you can go if you stop trying. Successful people are the ones who choose courage over fear. Be brave about your goals. Don't ever give up.
Friendship and community are found with those who show up when you need them. Learn how to show up for others too. We weren't made to do life alone. Friends will come and go, and that's okay. Prioritize quality over quantity. Two good friends are better than six fake ones.
Your trauma won't heal itself. Seek professional help and guidance if you need it. You can't pursue healthy relationships with others if you feel undeserving of love. Your healing journey is your responsibility. Let the generational trauma end with you.
Take care of yourself. Eat well. Dress well. Exercise if you can. Consume positive things that will aid your personal growth. Keep good people around you, personally and professionally. Stay away from negative people and things that deter your growth.
Never be found compromised. Be the kind of person people would want to emulate. Be a good representative for yourself. Always do the right thing, even when it's hard.
Believe in yourself and your dreams, otherwise no one else will. Trust in your purpose for being on this planet. And if you don't think you have one, create one.
Life is as beautiful as you make it. You will encounter so many trials and hardships. Don't give into despair. Fill your life with many beautiful things and good people. Doing this will keep you happy when life feels dull and empty.
Work hard. This is the only life you'll get. Sure, you'll make mistakes and there'll be many detours. But, don't lose your focus. Balance is everything. Have fun while you can. Play and rest are productive habits too. Do everything in moderation.
Good and influential friends will take you far. Bad friends dislike to see you grow and flourish. Keep friends that are happy for you when you succeed, and will still ride with you when you hit rock bottom. Build strong and genuine professional connections. You can't evolve career-wise if no one around you is doing what you're doing. You will need peers in your expertise to learn from and grow with.
Rock bottom has a basement. Be grateful for where you're at right now. Things could truly be so much worse. Start from where you are, and with what you have. Trust that you can achieve a lot with very little. It's all about perspective. You only see as far as you let yourself.
It's okay to feel lonely from time to time. Even if you have many friends, you can still feel lonely. I see loneliness as an in-built human sensor, indicating our need for connection with others. Loneliness is necessary for love. Loneliness forces us out of our comfort zone and motivates us to go out into the world and pursue sincere relationships with others.
Heartbreak builds character. It truly does. You will experience disappointment every once in a while in the romantic relationships you'll experience. And sometimes, you are the problem. Knowing this is wisdom and learning to be accountable is true evidence of growth and maturity. Apologize when you're at fault. Picking fights for absolutely no reason isn't cute. Knowing when to let go and bid farewell to what no longer serves you is vital.
You're not needy. You have needs. Learn to express how you truly feel. Don't quiet your voice to make someone else comfortable. You're not too much. You have big feelings, and that's okay. Sensitivity is not a sin. Everyone isn't for you, and you're not for everyone. Don't force what doesn't stick.
You are what you are. But, you can change if you're willing. Humankind is meant to evolve. There would be no change or progress if we let things stay as they are.
Optimism will keep you human. A positive spirit can brighten up a dark room. Be the light you wish to see in the world. Hold up a candle for those who have none. Speak words of love and light into your life and those around you. Let people remember your influence on them as good taste and not a bad one.
Be to yourself the lover you deeply desire. There's no shame in wanting love and wanting to be loved. We all deserve to be loved. But, we must learn to love ourselves first. That is how you will know what you truly desire from a future romantic partner. Knowing your worth and never lowering your standards is key to self-sufficiency in adulthood.
Practice who you want to become every day. Even if you're nowhere close to being your future or dream self. Act as though you are already that person. Believe that you are already that person -- a better version of who you are now. Learn new skills. Diversify your portfolio. Network within and outside your niche or expertise. In life, preparation is key. You cannot be blessed with what you aren't ready to accept responsibility for. Surely, God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called. Prepare to be called, even if you're not so sure what your calling is yet. Seek God in prayer for wisdom and guidance. Stay ready. Opportunities don't usually announce themselves.
Discover your voice. Learn yourself so deeply to your very soul. Know who you are. Decide what you'll stand for and what you'll stand against. Everyone has a story to tell. Don't hide yours. Let yourself be seen. Your voice and story could be an inspiration to someone. Don't dim your light. Dare to stand out. Dare to have a voice. Dare to be who you really are. The world doesn't need more conformists. The world needs ground-breakers and innovators. Everyone seems to be doing the same thing. Be the person who changes things. Be different, and without apologies.
Be good to yourself. You teach others how to treat you when you show them how you treat yourself. Treat yourself with respect. Treat others with respect, and also don't be afraid to call people out on their crappy behaviour no matter who they are. Kindness makes no excuses for intolerable behaviour. Wrong is wrong, no matter who committed the offense. Don't be intimated by bullies. The only power bullies have are their insecurities that they project onto others.
Life gets worse. Then, it gets better. There's no rainbow without some rain. No matter what you're going through, just know that you won't be sad forever. Right now isn't where or how your story ends. This present moment is only the beginning. And remember, you're not alone. We're all in this together. Together is better. Together is how God intended it to be.
Thank you for making it this far. Thank you for being here. Thank you for celebrating with me. I'll see you in the next story, friend.
Warmly, Grace.
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